Meme Slapback

I've been tagged with my own meme. In the interest of full disclosure I should mention that I'm am listening to late era Tom Waits on headphones while doing this and physically wiped from out of shape tennis with my uncle. Well, actually I'm listening to iTunes on shuffle, so now it is very early Tom Waits. "Times were never this good....got a fly for food".....kinda cool song, its called "Rockin' Chair." Anyway, I procrastinate. On to the meme! Shit, Zappa just came on.

Four First Names of Crushes I’ve Had (I will not name current crushes)
1. Catherine (we will speak no more of this.)
2. Cindy (3rd grade....her tube top, my eyes.....I remember sitting in my aunt's trailer behind our run down rented house eating ritz crackers with peanut butter and wondering whether we were married in a past life.)......now Neil Young is playing......
3. Damion (it was all for him....)
4. Mike (my first boy crush....I didn't realize what it was at the time.)

Four Pieces of Clothing I wish I still owned
1. Ratty pair of oversized jungle boots I pilfered from my grandparent's storage bin long ago....they used to be my uncles.
2. (*now Wilco is playing) Grey t-shirt I pilfered from Catherine after the first night I spent at her house. I like girl t-shirts, they are cut a little sexier.
3. Pair of hippy pants made by my friend Barbara.
4. I can't think of a fourth.....I'm more about losing my clothes.....

Four names I’ve been called at one time or another
1. Miss (I had a full red beard at the time....very surreal moment.)
2. Woomaster
3. Big Stud
4. Evil G.B.

Four Professions I secretly Want to Try (*Tom Waits is back.)
1. Spy, no doubt about it. Triple agent preferrably.
2. Corporate Director.
3. Firefighter.
4. Gangster.

Four Musicians I'd Like To Go on a Date with
1. Neil Young (any age). Not that I think he is into boys. But I think it'd be cool to shoot cans and shit on his farm and smoke some grass. My kind of date.
2. Tom Waits mid 70's. He always wears really nice shoes. We'd probably shoot some pool. If he was drunk enough, he might not realize that I'm a man. It would probably end badly, but that's alright.
3. Janis Joplin (when she was alive, I'm not sick)....I saw some documentary recently about some trainload of musicians going to a show in Canada, and she looked like she was having the best time. Boozin and singin....awesome.
4. Ani Difranco. Yum.

Four Foods I’d rather Throw than Eat
1. Asparagus spears.
2. Mushrooms.
3. Liver.
4. Pickled anything....

Four Things I Like to Sniff
1. Places where limbs intersect with trunks
2. (*Zappa is back) Redwoods
3. Sea air.
4. Sticky bud.

Four People to Tag:
1. Gill Smoke
2. Gretty
3. Crse
4. normtasia